We have less than two weeks left of Ramadan, it’s crazy how it always passes so quickly! I hope fasting has been easy for you and that you’re able to dedicate time towards prayers and worship. I myself have been balancing spending time with my family and working intensely on new artwork with for my solo exhibition Close to Home at the Queens Museum. The show opens May 19th so it’s crunch time. I really honed in on the power of visualization to develop the show.
A Mother and An Artist
These days I’m particularly reminded of my gestural charcoal drawing series Sajda, which is named after my only daughter and third child. I believe that art carries the spirit of the artist. When I let my art flow through me without any signifiers or trying to make any particular object, like letting a child come through me, whatever I end up making carries a part of who I am. My daughter was my only natural birth (my two boys were emergency c-sections) and before her I felt robbed of the birthing process. All of my children are four years apart, so I had some time to overcome my imagined fear of giving birth naturally -fear I still had even while wanting to go through that process.
I was fortunate enough to get to work with the doula I wanted. I had previously seen her helping me during the birth in a dream but I was still living in Egypt while she was living in the States at the time and I thought it wasn’t going to happen. Miraculously enough in the summer of 2021 I visited my family inAmerica (after pandemic year gap) and she was able to assist me when I was ready to give birth. Mashaallah my daughter’s birth was what is called a “veiled birth”. If you don’t know what that is, it is when the baby comes out still inside an intact amniotic sac and it happens in 1 of 80,000 births!
When I was preparing my spirit for this birth I did a lot of meditative visualisation. Subhan Allah I could visualise baby coming out but not my water breaking, and when we saw that it was a veiled birth I knew why. I got to watch Sajda emerge from the sack in real time! The doctors at the hospital were completely against my decision, and they kept telling us we were acting against their best medical advice but I knew in my heart that my faith was going to carry me through it. All I had to do was pay attention to Allah’s signs, trust that He was supporting me, stay focused, and breathe through the pain. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Creating Something New Isn’t Easy
Preparing for my exhibition at Queens Museum has involved allot of meditative visualisation. I have to stretch my imagination to see the full Installation of the show and all the artworks in it and be able to communicators my vision and coordinate with museum staff. Part of the process has been figuring out how to pace the work with the museum staff since our timelines are different. For example, to keep up with the curator’s work, I’ve had to write about my installation before it’s even done. It’s pushed me to stretch my imagination yet again, and to strengthen my faith in my art practice to confidently talk about a huge part of my exhibition before it’s been fully realized. My work is challenging the curator as well who has never worked on a similar project.
You’ve got to let inspiration come through you.
Nsenga Knight
When we ask for something we have to be willing to put in the work to receive it. When we have apprehension, fear, or doubt, we have to fall back on our faith in Allah, and remember that all the strength we may need, all the divine intervention that will make things fall into place, comes from him. We all face different challenges, right now mine is to meet the museum’s deadline which is in two weeks -the two weeks my kids will be off from school and the last two weeks of Ramadan. I know exactly what will carry me through this -staying focused and having faith. Many people claim that to be able to be a good artist you should be single and childfree to better concentrate on your artistic practice, but my experience is proof that being an artist doesn’t need to be so limiting. Alhamdullilah my experience is filled with rich interactions, familial support, and a whole lot of faith in my ability to receive a vision and inspiration which I express as artwork and share with you.